Why is the Occult so great? From an entertainment perspective, it is the heights of drama: it has all the Gods and heroic tales, demons, monsters and Angels. Its also Witchcraft, which is me using everything in my power to get what I Desire. It tries to explain the unknown, invisible worlds that we imagine to be surrounded by, and from the view of philosophy, it holds all the keys to the greatest thinkers of time. It is also a discipline, and has ritual, and honors God in ways that other religions do not. It is the fount of creativity and learning.
The fundamentals of contemplation are Chaos, Law, Desire and Duty. The key component here is Free Will, for if we didn't have Free Will, we would be fated and at the mercy of the design, and as such, would have to admit that God intends there to be both Good and Evil. So we have Free Will, which leads us to Desire, and part of life is wanting, and experiencing- and that is why life is for life's sake. When a person matures they realize that there are duties to fulfill, regardless of our desire. These duties are based on Law, and Law is all about property and rights.
God is Desire, but God is also Duty- for we want to Desire to be obedient and live up to our obligations, obligations that are necessary because of our environment. The trick is, to define what our duties are, and to be able to convince people to live up to them.
Chaos is an illusion. Even when you do something in the name of Chaos- something random without knowing the intention or result- it is interpreted by someone else, and so it is no longer meaningless, and the magician can interpret the result, and it stops being Chaotic and starts being orderly. Doing things on impulse is a Neophyte quality, and eventually things order themselves when the candidate is able to define and name what they are doing. Eventually you have symbols and meaning that are attributed to action and thought. The body becomes a symbol, and we attribute meaning to the different portions based on other symbols, like the pentagram, or the tree of life- however, these are just temporary attributions, for really, the functions of the body have their own definitions. When you hear someone say "Listen to your heart", does your heart really speak, or is it the ideas you have attributed to what the heart represents that forms into a concept in your mind upon which you act? Meditation aligns the heart and the body, and it is united, and we become one creature, no longer prone to impulses that we didn't define, reacting out our experiences the interpretation of which developed as a helpless child. It takes meditation and years of contemplation to complete a united symbol onto your body that is aligned with correct meaning. There is no Chaos, everything has a cause and effect.
Ultimately, Truth is relative. There is a set of Truths that are nearly Universal, but really, we can never know the reaction to our efforts, and that is why one needs to live in their own Truth; without the support of anyone else. However, it is beneficial when others agree with our Truth, for in solidarity there is power. There is also great power in letting other people live their Truth, for it breeds trust, and trust breeds loyalty.
The Muse of the Philosophers is Truth, and in Truth, there is certainty- though in the end, nothing can be declared to be certain, for there is always another to answer to in regards to action, but isolated, the Philosopher can live their own Truth, and it provides. All idea is Mystical, and in each view, there is a vision of reality. Still the Philosopher wished for absolute Truth, and in the end we must return to Good and Evil. In all of this is Chaos, and in Chaos there is no end, but infinity. To be certain is to be Eternal, and in an Eternal state comes enduring Truth. The goal of the Magus is to transcend Chaos, to transcend the infinite and become static, if at least for a time, for in our environment there is static Law, and Truth that cannot be avoided.
The Vault of the Adepts is a vast place. In it you will indeed contact the Secret Chiefs, but for me it was not in some calm, orderly instruction. Instead, it was many opinions and input into what I was thinking and researching. At times it is complete madness, because the Adepts have a lot of opinions, and they don't all agree. Contrary to what some cults claim, there is no one Truth to Life. The torment of the Abyss is so treacherous that eventually the adept cant help but wonder what could have brought them there. It is nearly unnecessary to enter here, and there is no promise that once you do, you will find yourself free from the Wheel, or reincarnated, or sent to a Heaven, or informed about anything greater than what you can discover. There are no promises, only that you will be met and taught (to some degree). When you endure this much pain and impossible reality, you completely abandon your infallibility. You lose your Trust, and Hope dies. You see the absence of kindness, and you see too its bounty. You measure Good and Evil, and name them. You swing from one side to the other, ever pushing the boundaries until you can declare SOME Truth, at least, your own. In doing this you learn the need for compassion and its value. You learn that everything IS, and that it all has a point of view and validity to the doer. You learn that nothing is as desirable as it once was, and that even if it were still, by the time you emerge from the Abyss you are exhausted and have little resource to get what you desire. You learn not to want, but more importantly, you see the folly in it. When you realize that it is all cause and effect- that everything is destined for its own outcome, you are free from the bonds of mercy- it is now at your discretion; you know Law, and do not have to submit to everyone elses Will out of wanting to be kind. Kindness still has its value, but it is now a tool in your kit; a blessing to bestow. In the end there are many ways you can emerge from the Abyss. You can say that everything is valid, everything produces some result, and there is no containing these things, and so- I do what I will. You can champion justice, for now you know Law, and you have become Master of the result of kindness, and Law- and can fight to make it right in the world. Or, you can become indifferent and keep to yourself, allowing the people to make their choices and deal with the result, for you know the reward of sorrow. As I said, there is no promise except todays value. Simply entering the Abyss and coming out does not guarantee anything special in this life, or after. Heaven is in doubt, for what is Heavenly now that you have seen through the illusions of Mara?
My first and only remembered vision of God was when I was brought to the Throne by an Angel. The being on the Throne said "I am the Sephiroth, I am All that Is".
I didn't believe it so my mind was cast away. I have since learned what the Sephiroth is- its a word used in Qabalah to describe life and its journey. I have long speculated that God is either the only living thing, or God is everything, and I realized that in this there is no contradiction- God is All that Is. That means you, me, the trees, the planets, the bacteria. God is in command of all of this, and we participate in the experience. God is the Desire, God is the suffering, God is life and death.
This brings us to the question; what is Gods Will? The answer is found in ourselves, and in the process of Creation. Gods Will is alive and played out every day, in us, and in the Universe. I wont say that all that occurs is a direct application of Gods Will, but of that we could never be certain, we only know that we have our own Will, and that we want and do according to it. I can vouch for the fact that if God wants you to do something differently, He will let you know.
In the philosophical search for Truth, it is known that the only Truth one can understand is between the object and the observer. Therefore the Good Truth is the material Truth- the matter at hand is matter, and what it does and how it works. Other Truth is subjective, relative to the wants of the individual, and in these ways people will do what they will. What matters is the strength of these bones, and do they not need shelter and nourishment? From here we branch out into realization: what is Good is meant to aid us in our methods, what is Evil is that which opposes. Man is first a thing that must survive, and secondly a thing that desires- make no mistake, all of this has an outcome that fits in to the logic of the material Truth.
Have you ever taken a look around and really imagined a world where we don't need to do some of the things we do? Like travel, and preparation of things, harvesting... Electricity sent thru wires on wooden poles?? Really, we are so primitive. Far ahead of our past, but not so far ahead of our visionary artists, behind, rather.
And we think there is some sort of guiding force that raises us and protects us? If there is such a being Im sure it is far advanced, so what is the reason for our primitive state? It must be about emotion and order, and not comforts and science.
You would think that after all I have been through, I would detest the Occult, philosophy and religion. After all, it has caused me great suffering and confusion in my life. It started when I was little, having conflict with the Law of Christ and the way people were. Then, as a young man, I dabbled in the creative elements of the Tarot, and my own form of spirituality. Upon being awoken by the God, I chased down Truth more than I ever did as a "Truth Seeker", and it led me to Hell (mental illness). As I emerge to standing ground, I am upset that this had to happen to me, I could have gone my whole life blindly assuming there was a God, even when it was one of my own design.
I appreciate the Occult because the Law of Thelema reveals to me the extent that people will go to do their Will, and it reveals also the box that I was in, though I used to pride myself on not being in one, I was.
The Occult also opens the door to Philosophy and science, albeit not directly, and not enough- it is something one has to infer, and would probably need some guidance to seek. I now have the answers to science that I lacked as a child which stunted my maturity in knowledge- though at this stage, I am far too debilitated to catch up, I am at peace that I have the parts that were missing, and were I healthy, could indeed have contributed.
I am also not angry because I have lived an adventure, and I know that I could have lived no other life, given the circumstances. I do have regrets, but these things were nearly unavoidable, considering. All in all, I am content with my life, and hope that as I keep travelling this path, that I accomplish something worth listening to.