I really feel for you naiwen. Schizophrenia is a scary disease and its not easily understood by people. Ive had it for 20 years and Ive been hospitalized a dozen times. The medicine is hard to handle sometimes, making a person sleepy or without feelings. I always thought that if I got sick I could at least retreat to my mind, now its my mind that is sick and I cannot retreat anywhere.
Well it has been Hell. Looking back, I wonder why it had to be so hard. A lot of my illness came from me trying to explain what was happening to me, which caused me to hallucinate even more. A lot of my madness came from things that cannot be explained, which I have made peace with now. I still require a lot of rest and sleep but I am stable more or less and not hallucinating. I still have to avoid reading and watching television because I dont want any ideas that will make me delusional again.
This may sound rediculous, but I dont feel like doing anything. My mind is tight and held, and it wants to sit in silence and withdraw. But I dont want to do nothing. So Im constantly starting things and quitting them, laying down, getting up, smoking, eating, repeat. I guess you could say Im fidgety. I spend all day doing this and it sucks.
My son has been hearing voices. It's gotten pretty bad for him recently. He has addiction to opiates but has been using fentanyl and likely cocaine. He's paranoid, saying all sorts of things that I will not be sharing right now. Been trying to get him to understand he needs help for addiction & treatment. He did sign up for treatment yesterday to begin on Wednesday. He told me this morning he needs to go now. I called and spoke to the women at treatment she referred me to detox so he can detox after hearing about his symptoms. Got him to detox and received a call that he is so sick he has to go to the emergency hospital. I'm incredibly worried and just had to call the treatment facility to let them know the change of plans for his detoxing.
Jesus H Christ. I got a call from my mother informing he is back at her house and he went to lay down to sleep. So he got himself discharged 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️ He has to be detoxed before he begins treatment which was supposed to be tomorrow and then the women called me back saying Friday if he's detoxed. He did check in there yesterday to set it up (treatment) but he has been dope sick. Idk if he was given anything. He requested to go today which is why he was off to detox per advice from the treatment facility women today...so idk. This is very very draining on him (obviously) and his kids/gf. Just hope he follows through. He's probably not wanting the psychiatric care since I had to inform them of all the hearing voices along with his addiction situation. I'm just frustrated and doing what I can to get him help that he requested today. God help him
👏 he talked to the treatment women she told him what he had to do. She then called me letting me know what she said to him. About an hour later he said "let's do this, I am going to detox". Family members were present when he went. Maybe that was what he needed around. He was in bed while we were all just talking. His addiction is severe. He is still there as far as I know. Didn't send him to a place nearby because all the treatment places here are located around high usage areas. That is unfortunate. I'm proud he looked into a place. I pray it works out for him. Cpuld be 30 days or more, won't know until he has his assessment. When the eyes of your child are black, you know they are not themself. It's sad to see that in their eyes. It's as if the demon of death is trying to take over. 2 days before his friend died, I prayed for the hand of God to come and do something to wake my son up to get help and said I didn't care what it took, just do something so he can get clean and be back to living life with his family, because enough is enough. His children need him. I even said, "I'm not demanding, but this all has to stop now" 2 days later his friend died. God works in mysterious ways. And my son is in detox to get medically cleared for treatment.