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Post by anaise on May 25, 2017 10:17:30 GMT -5
^Sounds like a bad SP story
Where are the good stories?
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Post by Blixa B. on May 25, 2017 17:03:03 GMT -5
a good story is that i'm still alive and 101% willing to be <3
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Post by Blixa B. on May 25, 2017 17:19:14 GMT -5
Still can't believe my friend Ian is dead... he made me listen to the pumpkins... we buried his mom together in '98... so Adore was on repeat all day... there was no chance for me to escape from the beauty of this record... his favourite record... he even played "once upon a time " at the funeral...
Like mother, like son.
What a tragedy.
This one goes out to you, Ian... may you rest in peace, dark brother <3
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2017 19:44:25 GMT -5
Still can't believe my friend Ian is dead... he made me listen to the pumpkins... we buried his mom together in '98... so Adore was on repeat all day... there was no chance for me to escape from the beauty of this record... his favourite record... he even played "once upon a time " at the funeral... Like mother, like son. What a tragedy. This one goes out to you, Ian... may you rest in peace, dark brother <3 ah crap! you don't know how many times I've played that particular track this past year. Actually, I kept playing it even after I found out my Pumpkins friend had lost someone close to him. (natural causes I assume, but still sad nonetheless). I just always hear this song in my head, not necessarily my favorite from that album, but it's my go-to, I guess. Anyway, feel better soon, dear! Grieve how you need to, but don't let it drown you. <3 |
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Post by anaise on May 25, 2017 20:12:39 GMT -5
Here, listen to a great live version
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Post by Deleted on May 26, 2017 10:57:58 GMT -5
If Corgan will ever have the guts and overcome his ego I probably will - He spit enough on people I admire and love God forgive his troubled soul also <3 He put out negativity and received it back from the fanbase and others Billy doesn't seem to be a troubled soul. Just a human like everyone else. We all have our own flaws at times in life. |
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Post by screamingnightengale on May 31, 2017 1:40:40 GMT -5
Who here has forgotten how long-winded I can be? Allow me to remind you.
**You have been warned...this post is absurdly LONG**
I was born in 1989, and had older siblings. Thus, I received a heavy dose of whatever was popular in the 90's via my brother's stereo system or my sister's boom box. Green Day...Soundgarden...311...Pumpkins...RHCP...Nirvana...all of it. As a kid, I can recall seeing the music video for Bullet on mTV, with Billy crouching on the chair as it began to spin. I can also vividly remember the music videos for 1979 and Tonight Tonight, respectively. They gave me goosebumps when they came on tv, and remain the most nostalgic songs of my childhood, along with Basket Case & Good Riddance by Green Day. I still remember going to the local firehouse with my grandmother, mother and brother as they voted in the 1996 U.S. presidential election. The song that played while my grandma and mom were inside was 1979...
Fast forward to 2006. My grandmother and father had passed away four and two years prior, respectively. We lived with our mom in our childhood home. My brother and I had grown close since our father passed away from lung cancer in 2004. He gave me permission to go in his room upstairs and play his video games, borrow CDs and just hang out while he was at work. One night, as he was getting ready for a date, I heard this beautiful piano intro echoing from his room. I couldn't place why it sounded so familiar. Finally, as the final stroke of the keys trailed off...the majestic intro from Tonight Tonight cascaded down the stairs into my ears. After all of these years, I heard the song and it all came rushing back to me. After he left for his date, I snuck upstairs and removed the CD from his player. I searched his display shelf for the matching case, and happened upon a band name which jumped out at me. The name was 'The Smashing Pumpkins.' The album? Mellon Collie and the Infinite Sadness.
I immediately brought it downstairs and copied it into iTunes. As I sat online that night, I simply scoured for familiar songs. Tonight Tonight, Bullet...and then 1979 on the second disc. Here they were...the most nostalgic songs from my childhood...on one record. I struck gold, surely. The next day, I popped his actual CD copy into the stereo while I worked out. I savored the intro track and Tonight Tonight, then was taken aback by Jellybelly. Such a contrast...and I hadn't even gotten to Zero. The second that mega-riff kicked in, and BC waxed darkly poetic, I was hooked. My entire perspective on music shifted in that instant, and I needed more. I finished the whole record, and longed for more. I bought Rotten Apples & Siamese Dream. Soon thereafter, I scooped up Gish and Machina. I did my research and ordered TAFH box. I bought Pisces. Disarm became my personal anthem, where goosebumps were inevitable. I was enamored. I was hooked. I...effectively drowned. It was to the point where I overplayed the Pumpkins so thoroughly...that I ruined them for my brother entirely.
The one record which evaded me was Adore. The local stores never had it, and for some strange reason, I never got around to ordering it online. 2007 came, and Tarantula was released. The Pumpkins were 'back,' and I was ecstatic. It couldn't have come at a better time. My mother had been diagnosed with lung cancer. The Pumpkins were the only source of comfort for me then, and to know that they reformed? It meant a lot.
Zeitgeist underwhelmed me. I couldn't believe that the same man who bled his emotions over songs like Set the Ray to Jerry, Disarm, Tonight Tonight, Rotten Apples, Stand Inside Your Love or Mayonaise...was suddenly void of emotion in his singing. His lyrics once full of whimsy and pain...were now trite and boring. I was entirely baffled, and put off for a time. I could not follow this man who had forgotten who he was...
Fast forward one year, and my mother grew worse still. She was terminal by that point, and I was losing my mind. Billy's new Pumpkins announced a tour for the 20th anniversary since the original band formed. The presentation was appealing...two nights, each with a different vibe. Black Sunshine & White Crosses. The single night shows would make an eclectic mix to satisfy fans who could not attend the double-night performances. A tribute to 20 years...I was intrigued. Billy performed two new songs at the Bridge School Benefit, entitled A Song For A Son and Owata, respectively.
I was blown away by the fan-shot performance video of the songs. This was the Billy I had grown to love. Emotive & brittle, brimming with scars. Soon after, a video emerged of a scathing performance of a new song from the Guitar Hero release show. As Rome Burns, as my jaw hit the floor. I couldn't put it off...I had to see this tour. I couldn't afford to see both NYC shows, so I opted for Uncasville, CT. My sister agreed to attend with me. It was the most ethereal show I had seen to that point. Corgan was largely quiet, barely speaking to the crowd. He opted to focus on the music. It was incredible. Tonight Tonight, Mayonaise, Soma, Disarm, I of the Mourning, Bodies and Zero live. The new songs, as well. Not to mention, above all else...the incomparable chemistry between BC & JC for the epic Gossamer and pounding live rendition of United States. I was sad to say they didn't play As Rome Burns, my favorite new song, but I got over it. It was an amazing night.
5 days later, I had my birthday. My aunt moved in with us to help care for my mother. I visited my mom in her room on my birthday, and she gave me some cash. I asked what for, and she told me that my aunt was taking me to the mall. 'It isn't much, but get what you like, sweetheart.' I forced a smile, and my aunt drove us to the mall. My first stop was FYE, to look for new music. Upon scouring the section for Pumpkins albums (as I do to this day), I noted something I did not possess: Adore. I instantly knew I had to have it, as it was long the missing component to my fandom.
That night, I listened to the album with tears streaming down my face. I had no preconceived notions of the album's lyrical contents. My mother lay in the next room, losing her breath and struggling to just be. This record...I couldn't handle it. I shelved it. A few days later, on roughly the 25th of November 2008, my mom had enough energy to make her way around the house. She asked me if I was still jazzed about the concert, to which I responded accordingly. I raved about the new songs, how tight the band sounded, how great it was to hear some of the songs live. She asked which song was my favorite that they played. Typing into the search bar, I pulled up a high quality video synced to official audio. I played her a beautiful live performance from another show from the tour. The song? A Song For A Son. At the song's end, I turned for her reaction. She had tears in her eyes...and was silently bawling. It was then that I knew I should not have played the song for her...that she was much too tender in her state to hear such unfortunately relatable lyrics...
She passed away on 12/14/2008. On Christmas morning...I returned to Adore. I began making breakfast for my family with 'Once Upon A Time' littering the vacant rooms.
To this day, it is difficult for me to hear Once Upon A Time or For Martha. I saw the band in 2011 in NYC, and they performed the latter live. My girlfriend at the time knew, and simply hugged me tight as they played it in full...in an environment where I could not bring myself to run away.
Corgan has pissed me off over the years. I fume about missed opportunities, unreleased material and his best 'unknown gems.' I hated Zeitgeist, but I loved the Residency songs. I hated Teargarden in execution, but I loved his live interpretations with Spirits In The Sky and Backwards Clock Society. I loved Oceania, and scoffed at Monuments to an Elegy. In the end, I'll always be grateful to this man for changing my perspective on music, and for unknowingly offering me a light in the darkness.
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Post by Deleted on May 31, 2017 13:44:46 GMT -5
^^ Thank you for sharing...
Sorry for all of your losses, all you've had to endure ♥
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Post by Blixa B. on May 31, 2017 14:23:31 GMT -5
hug ya, nighting ale...
Early death is a damn motherfucker!
Let's have a beer and slam-dance around a lil, bro...
Thanx for sharing this. I appreciate it a lot.
<3
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Post by Blixa B. on May 31, 2017 15:50:46 GMT -5
This goes out to you, bro...
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Post by zivotson on May 31, 2017 22:15:37 GMT -5
A million thumbs up to you, screamingnightengale. Thanks for sharing and sorry for your losses. I've been there grandparents and mother-wise, but not so early in life.
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Post by oopsiedaisy on Jun 1, 2017 11:40:57 GMT -5
That's a lot to deal with at a young age.
Sorry for your losses and to you as well Blixa
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Post by Deleted on Jun 2, 2017 23:22:59 GMT -5
I want to contribute, to say something nice...but I read this the other day and just, for the life of me cannot focus to re-read it and say something. I can say it's nice to see more folks joining...actually, truthfully I was thinking something else, but I'm too embarrassed to say it. (It's me, not you, kind of a thing. I thought...but I was wrong. idk I'm losing my mind! lol)
Welcome! (although i'm still very much a newbie lol)
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Post by anaise on Jun 3, 2017 0:27:42 GMT -5
Ice breaker (lighten up the thread)
I like The Smashing Pumpkins a bit
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Post by screamingnightengale on Jun 4, 2017 7:43:47 GMT -5
Thank you for the warm responses, all. I'm typically pretty private- I don't often tell that story. Everybody who even remotely knows me (family, friends, coworkers) knows how much I've loved the band/Billy's music over the years. Mind you, I'm not near as fanatical about them now as I was in 2008, but everyone still refers to me as the 'Pumpkins fanatic.'
That said, nobody (except for my most recent ex) knows even a portion of why I feel so connected to SP. To this day, my brother gives me crap for ruining them for him. Still can't understand why I'm drawn to them. If he only knew haha...
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Apr 30, 2021 22:01:18 GMT -5
Apr 30, 2021 22:01:18 GMT -5