Post by shadowmaker on Sept 21, 2013 11:10:34 GMT -6
Digging deeper....in the dream at the time it was something, but it's now not that, but something else. Now that I know what that is I know what I want. But, that doesn't mean that's what the other wants. :/ Digging deeper explains
It may be difficult to find the junction. I think it's blackswan who said somewhere when people are attracted together, there is a reason for that. I believe it is true. Yet we evolve during a life. And we need to express where we are. It's really disconcerting when we don't know where exactly the other is. We can just speculate. And speculations bring us only with misjudgments, misleadings, misunderstandings. It is the worst situation that we can have. I won't never say enough, be clear with those you love. Even with those you don't love, in this matter.
What you say is not necessarily clear for me to understand but I'll speak from my own experience maybe it will give you some indications for yourself.
My own dream ten years ago was very complex, I can see it looking behind. Complex because it was with multiple variables. And I didn't understand clearly what they were, what they meant. I found explanations along the years, after the fact we could say. I must say this exercise was really worthy for me, thank you for the questions bringing me in this reflection.
So, if we sum it all, my dream was: - to be in a fulfilling love relationship - yet I had to discover what does mean a fulfilling love relationship - to heal some wounds I had related particularly to my relationship with my father - to change my way to be in relationship, not forgetting who I am being in relationship - to discover and accept the woman in me - to understand the place of the women in our culture the way men have toward women - to discuss with younger people to influence their view on it and on other subjects - I remember I also said that I wished to help them to fulfill their dreams - to fulfill a lack to have not as much children as I wanted - to fulfill a lack I perceived to not have a place and persons to speak about what I believed and lived spiritually - to go farther the things I experimented alone concerning the invisible and sharing them with people understanding me and willing to do it - to build with a partner something together - to have strong friendship - to express my creativity - to express romanticism what I missed in my relationships - to disconnect of my life difficulties in my relationship with my daughter and all the others difficulties related to being alone with all the responsibilities of the life (raising a child, bringing the money never enough, desiring doing better professionally, easily judging myself)
Maybe even with it all, I forgot things. So, you see that my dream was really not clear more than 10 years ago. It was not clear for me so you imagine it wasn't clear either for others meeting me, only virtually if it wasn't enough. And I came toward people I didn't know at all even if I imagined, truly or falsely, that I knew them intuitively. Wow, when I think at that... It was difficult, very difficult.
But often, it's that. We have a dream and we are not aware that we have in fact more than one and also many needs around. It's not only on the young people, I meet everyday people advanced in age in the same situation.
Yet with the years, things evolved, some dreams adding, some fulfilled disappeared, due to many parts of my life, virtual and not.
The larger part of our dreams don't involve others, I mean particular others. For example, to have a strong friendship I don't need to have a strong friendship with this one specific person. When you have a dream with a specific person, you necessarily need to share your dream with this person. It's a lot more down to earth we could say. Personally, it's the first thing I did. The feedback wasn't clear. And it's where I saw lately that I completely missed the part of my dream about not forgetting me in the relationship. For having respect, we absolutely need clarity. Most of the clarity we can, specially between beloved ones. Because when we don't respect oneself, it brings us in a territory where our wounds take all the place.
For me, it's a lot easier now because it's a lot clearer. I feel good with who I am. I know where I have to improve myself. I have dreams well alive but they are clearer. Everyday, I see them in a new light and change what it needs to be changed. I respect more who I am. I have no shame about the silly things I did or thought or said. It was justified in the moment. I'm someone honest.
We share this condition of human being. We are all in the same boat. We have all things to change. I would say respect enough the one in your dream to be honest with this person. How could we know before to be in the fact what will be? No one can that. What life asks of ourselves is to be oneself honestly with the other and no matter what will be the person's answer, you'll build your dream with that. You have to have faith in life and to show this faith, to embody this faith, you have to be open with the person.
Post by shadowmaker on Sept 23, 2013 10:46:46 GMT -6
I have clear goals and sometimes there are setbacks which is ok. I'm quite content with myself overall. I know I have a big heart and yet I have to take care of me and my children. I do the best I can. I work hard, I work at being the parent who can discuss all thing with my children and that includes listening to what they say without shutting them down. My dreams are mine and I do share them with my children. They know me and I know they are growing and finding there's to I'm the encourager of their interests/passions unlike my own parents. I know my life journey hasn't been candy coated roses but I'm moving forward with life and my goals. Slow go is quite alright as there are experiences to learn from along the way. f I'm blessed with a dream of mine...great, if not I learned somethings about me during the process. Patience, love, understanding, and so much more....with plenty more to learn. I'm in no way perfect and know that I will never be, but I can know I tried my best and put all of me into whatever I'm doing. I have faith that I can keep on in life even with a bad day here and there. life....it's full of interesting things info & people for us all to be inspired and to inspire others! Today I feel GREAT!