Abuse

[Deleted]

This saddens me more than you know. Triggers me if you will. Someone basically ACCUSED me of this. Oh if they only really knew how much I actually cared and joked around to uplift them, to try to show them a happier existence,because they just kept complaining about being sad or depressed. Ugh! It works both ways! Sometimes this makes innocent people look like criminals...but ok, I do see how...I mean, I could have lessoned my intensity maybe? I...well, I had no idea! I always had wondered who had hurt this person, oh it makes me so angry to think them being hurt because I care sooo much! But, I suppose these things are hard to convey online, can easily get misconstrued, "mindfields" as my friend told me today. I also wished I had seen this sooner. I could have been more sensitive. I say "they", but ok, I am a girl and I am talking about a guy and I ...well, I know some guys are or can be more sensitive, but he kinda acted tough too sometimes!...eh, maybe or maybe not. I felt he was being too attentive at times and I kindof spat off at him about it. It is soo freaking messed up because we both are feeling like the victims and it is soo unfair how we are both miserable right now.

[mskied]

Theres a number of things that I find disturbing about this video you just linked.

First, they make the "narcissist" sound like they have this all sorted out before hand, as if they are premeditating some kind of plot to overthrow your ego and dominate you. I call bullshit on that. Most masculine/feminine type of dom sub relationships involve someone being the top and someone being the bottom- take this literally- someone leads and the other follows. Declaring yourself the victim of the mastermind design of an individual who is simply following cultural norms is stupid. Better to ask yourself "How did I encourage this situation?" than to throw up a wall of accusations against someone else declaring them to be evil or wrong.

At the beginning of this video he claimed that the narcissist "presents themselves as the perfect compliment to you" and that is a ridiculous concept. How does anyone know who your ideal is? Total BS there. Also, this statement fails to take into consideration that there are two individuals involved in this process. Maybe the reason this person "appeared to be everything you wanted" is because in reality, they were. A lot of sub type people would never admit that their personality is structured around allowing someone else to dominate them. Take responsibility for who you are before you go and accuse someone else of being "too dominant". Most of the time your partner wants you to be strong and to liberate you from your submissive personality traits but you are probably just unable to understand what you are doing. Here is where I can agree that it might become an abusive relationship (this is something I experienced)- the dominant figure starts to lose respect for you because he see's your submission as a weakness, and therefor begins to treat you in ways that you dont think are suitable from a person you are so intimate with. This isnt exactly their fault and it most certainly isnt the goal for them. Most of the time what happens here is that they start to lose interest in you and want you to either go away or change, and their indifference and withdrawal of attention becomes declared as "abuse".

My point here is that I want you to consider your end of this situation. Why did you so willingly submit yourself to this person? What is it about your nature that allowed you to me mastered so easily? Take responsibility for your role before calling someone names. Try learning about how relationships work in the real world than live in some sort of pseudo-christian bubble of "we are all supposed to bend over backwards for one another". The fact of the matter is that 99% of people are playing one role of dom or submissive to some degree, and we all love to be proven right, win the argument, or show that we are strong. Hate the game, not the player.

[Deleted]

If you have not specifically experienced this in your life, than you really are clueless to what he is speaking about.
I'd rather not go into the details of it.
I already have with peolple and on here. Dont feel like typing it all up again.
For your info, they prey on vulnerable people.
I was vulnerable at the time.
I can feel the way I do regarding it because I have that right to do so in MY life after such experience.
If you think that I am going to take responsibility for someone making up stories, lying, instagating, name calling me, gaslighting, making it all about himself, incapable of answering questions....then you are delusional. Especially when this has happened to other women from this person.
Look at you trying to be the psychologist around here and making wrong assessments.
Mskied booksmart psychology is not first hand experience.

[Deleted]

Apr 4, 2017 21:37:43 GMT -6 @mcrx said:

This saddens me more than you know. Triggers me if you will. Someone basically ACCUSED me of this. Oh if they only really knew how much I actually cared and joked around to uplift them, to try to show them a happier existence,because they just kept complaining about being sad or depressed. Ugh! It works both ways! Sometimes this makes innocent people look like criminals...but ok, I do see how...I mean, I could have lessoned my intensity maybe? I...well, I had no idea! I always had wondered who had hurt this person, oh it makes me so angry to think them being hurt because I care sooo much! But, I suppose these things are hard to convey online, can easily get misconstrued, "mindfields" as my friend told me today. I also wished I had seen this sooner. I could have been more sensitive. I say "they", but ok, I am a girl and I am talking about a guy and I ...well, I know some guys are or can be more sensitive, but he kinda acted tough too sometimes!...eh, maybe or maybe not. I felt he was being too attentive at times and I kindof spat off at him about it. It is soo freaking messed up because we both are feeling like the victims and it is soo unfair how we are both miserable right now.

Expressing yourself and telling people what happened is not being a victim.
Being a victim would be not talking bout it, and having anxiety, depression, and ptsd run your daily life and even drug/alcohol abuse.

I have bigger problems in life than a person who will only make your life more hell.

[Deleted]

Also, since you want to call it a game, then a game is played with some sort of intellect. Which means that the guy knew what he was doing.
I also dont hate you mskied, but I definitely dislike your game.
Which is similar to what his is/was.

[Deleted]

I wonder if a narcissist is abusive to animals or children too?

[Blixa B.]

Dear Blixa



Forever yours
Daniel 

[Deleted]

How does one "wear" someone?
Sounds a bit "silence of the lambs"

Creepy!

NO thanks to anymore of those types!
Which means nonto anyone at this time in my life.