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Post by shadowmaker on May 24, 2016 22:00:35 GMT -6
I just wanna say thank you to you, shadowmaker, for running this purple place. I see beauty and light in your concerns and it makes me feel very comfortable in here, knowing, someone is able to take care about such issues, sensitizing for anything that might be toxic or turn out to be... you keep it real and on the ground and I appreaciate it very much for that's what interpersonal relationships should be about... standing with both feet on the ground!!!!! It's important to reflect ourselves and others by times... and it's important to question our own intentions. I totally agree with you on that. <3 Love & Light to you, shadowmaker. <3 I get very weirded out/ptsd sometimes on here and try my best to not let negative experiences from others over the years interfere with long time connections. However, there has been some very good discussions over the years with some folks here and it's a like a family at this point. I'm still grateful for blackswan and belte for being phenomenal listeners and talkers all these years! Thanks guys  <3 love them both for being good people! |
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Post by Deleted on May 25, 2016 13:31:05 GMT -6
^^^Thank you Shadow ♥ LOVE you too ♥
sorry not been around here as much lately...got some personal things going on...
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Post by shadowmaker on May 26, 2016 9:31:38 GMT -6
There are some really screwed up people online and so privacy is important and posting everything too much personal updates and photos can leave one open to problems from the screwy folks. And there is no need to create 2 accounts on a Facebook imo. That alone is too much crap. And who the hell has that kind of time to keep up with that type of shit? Anyways, some things are just not any body's business in my life since I have children and need to take precaution as a woman and a mother. If people want to speak to me online they shouldn't say they aren't on bullshit or play mind games when clearly I can read the bullshit as if they are on some drug to make no coherent sense at some point in the conversation. When that happens I see that person trying to stir up some shit. Which, for me backs me away from conversation continuing until the person can actually tell me what the point is to continue. What's the goal/plan to it? there is this cyper mobbing thing going on at nephoria... I don't know any of those people involved, neither the victim nor the posters, for I don't have an account their myself (onle here <3 )... but something tough like this can drive someone into suicide... It's heart-breaking to notice that. <3 Hell, it's entirely possible. I used to post there and posted a photo of the creepy sociopath guy and within 12 hours my account was banned. Speaking of the creep, he tried calling me 2 times last night while I was out. I showed someone i was with last night who was calling me because that person knows about the hell I experienced. Hell no, I did not answer the phone! Then he tried to call back by making his number private. Still, I won't answer that either. Then some person who lurks on net phoria (denies posting there) shares music with me usually decided to tell me "I'm too difficult" and "go fuck yourself" last night. Typical netphorian comment. Needless to say he was bringing up some Spanish words for rats, mice , and thieves and said "you've met a few." I asked him to get to the point. And that's when he said what I posted in quotes. Supposedly 26 years old and acts like a spazzy teenager and on occasion says things that raise a red flag that makes him seem like that creep guy is under alias. My own children behave better. Maybe he wants me to go insane and commit suicide. Perhaps that's his mission in life...to fuck with people until they die. |
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Post by moonpi on May 26, 2016 10:48:25 GMT -6
I, too, come from a board that no longer exists... and I miss my buddies from back then very much. We had a little secret place where we came together to talk about personal stuff, like a group chat, but always with the greatest respect. When we returned to the board, we all wrote poems together... each of us doing a verse... and yes, exploring the true meaning of the tarot cards... moonpi was part of this and I'm glad to find her here around these days... for if I could make a wish, I'd love finding all those people back and meet them all together in real life... having an everlasting dinner somewhere over the rainbow... but life ain't that way, and God ain't that magickal, and peoples' hearts ain't that rosy... I know, for I have experienced it myself while trying to reconnect with some of them... and had to face that most of them just don't care... It's beautiful that this board has sprung from friendship. <3 for my shamse.. <3 |
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Post by moonpi on May 26, 2016 10:51:55 GMT -6
if our hearts would never let go and forever hold on, we all would be great Romanticists. <3 I can do that...LOL |
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Post by shadowmaker on May 26, 2016 11:28:33 GMT -6
I, too, come from a board that no longer exists... and I miss my buddies from back then very much. We had a little secret place where we came together to talk about personal stuff, like a group chat, but always with the greatest respect. When we returned to the board, we all wrote poems together... each of us doing a verse... and yes, exploring the true meaning of the tarot cards... moonpi was part of this and I'm glad to find her here around these days... for if I could make a wish, I'd love finding all those people back and meet them all together in real life... having an everlasting dinner somewhere over the rainbow... but life ain't that way, and God ain't that magickal, and peoples' hearts ain't that rosy... I know, for I have experienced it myself while trying to reconnect with some of them... and had to face that most of them just don't care... It's beautiful that this board has sprung from friendship. <3 That's how the mess began! Posting on a board and making a so called friend who turned into a nightmare from hell. Yikes! Although the best part was meeting someone and visiting him and getting to know him. And the creep guy was posses when he heard about that time. Boy did he try to make me feel bad for caring and spending time with someone who to this day means a lot to me. But yeah, it was nice posting back in the day before all the bullshit began. |
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Post by shadowmaker on May 26, 2016 11:50:35 GMT -6
Hell, it's entirely possible. I used to post there and posted a photo of the creepy sociopath guy and within 12 hours my account was banned. Speaking of the creep, he tried calling me 2 times last night while I was out. I showed someone i was with last night who was calling me because that person knows about the hell I experienced. Hell no, I did not answer the phone! Then he tried to call back by making his number private. Still, I won't answer that either. Then some person who lurks on net phoria (denies posting there) shares music with me usually decided to tell me "I'm too difficult" and "go fuck yourself" last night. Typical netphorian comment. Needless to say he was bringing up some Spanish words for rats, mice , and thieves and said "you've met a few." I asked him to get to the point. And that's when he said what I posted in quotes. Supposedly 26 years old and acts like a spazzy teenager and on occasion says things that raise a red flag that makes him seem like that creep guy is under alias. My own children behave better. Maybe he wants me to go insane and commit suicide. Perhaps that's his mission in life...to fuck with people until they die. I'm very sorry for what you are going through, shadowmaker. You have my whole support in this! <3 I remember having a friend, who, at one day thought I was Agent Smith from the Matrix and locked me in his house for he didn't want me to leave, forcing answers from me only God could give, blaming me that the alien he saw sitting on his couch table was my fault for having appeared over there. I had stayed over night at his place and in the morning, when I woke up, my laptop and my journals, all gone, and he refused to give it back to me, pointing his finger towards the alien I couldn't see, of course. After an eight hour nightmare, where I was not even allowed to go an have a piss on my own, I asked him if he was going to kill me next. And I remember him being very coldly and irrationaly replying: Me? I would never do you any harm!" Me replying: "No, you don't, only depriving me from my freedom, keeping me here against my will." He, returning: "I love you. I just don't want you to leave." I then punched him into the face and climbed out of the window as fast I could to get me some help... Half a year later he called me and told me that he was now being me and if I had a problem with that I should go fuck myself! That was the end of our friendship. He did a lot of drugs, actually. I mostly blame the drugs, not the people. But the damage caused is real either way. Love & Light to you, shadowmaker. <3 I was going to say, that had to be a drug problem screwing up a friendship. The one person that means a lot to me told me to fuck off and that hurt because I wanted to talk about where the relationship was heading. I understand he had a lot going on with work, moving, and progress with a past addiction. Of course we didn't talk much after that moment. I've bitched him out due to my own stress and ptsd issues. We made ammends. Then the creep guy wanted to be friends again so I thought maybe he changed and after a few months of absolute hell, he was being the same sociopath nut as before. Anyways, I'm glad I was able to get through the chaos last summer by talking to my friend I visited in another city. We've pretty much stopped talking now. Haven't spoke to him in almost 1 year. It's weird to lose contact with him, but I know that I still care about him and hope he is doing well! So yeah damage done is very real and it really makes people who have experienced some intense crap with friendships/relationships way more cautious and observant to not get involved in such a thing again. You can punch the sociopath in the face for me! Because that's a reality he needs! I asked my friend to do it! He was sweet and said he would've! Wish he did, but he lives too far and wasn't here at the time. He could be bodyguard! Back off creeps! |
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Post by Deleted on May 27, 2016 6:12:02 GMT -6
Internet should be used to increase our knowledge and improve our relationships, not to restrict them. imo
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Post by shadowmaker on May 27, 2016 9:20:02 GMT -6
Yeah it should.
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2016 8:01:15 GMT -6
I, too, come from a board that no longer exists... and I miss my buddies from back then very much. We had a little secret place where we came together to talk about personal stuff, like a group chat, but always with the greatest respect. When we returned to the board, we all wrote poems together... each of us doing a verse... and yes, exploring the true meaning of the tarot cards... moonpi was part of this and I'm glad to find her here around these days... for if I could make a wish, I'd love finding all those people back and meet them all together in real life... having an everlasting dinner somewhere over the rainbow... but life ain't that way, and God ain't that magickal, and peoples' hearts ain't that rosy... I know, for I have experienced it myself while trying to reconnect with some of them... and had to face that most of them just don't care... It's beautiful that this board has sprung from friendship. <3 I found sad, really sad that so long and intense relationships turned out to be as if "not real" since staying only virtual. We cannot blame internet because I'm sure all of you like me have internet relationships also in face to face relationships. If we think at many platforms (Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter) where one complete the other, it seems really positive as complement. In my case, it is.
I have difficulties to understand why I never had stronger relationships on SP related boards when I felt, on the other side, taking time to be a lot more open about myself. At one moment, I thought it was because of not using real name and picture. I believe it's surely a reason. Also, the generation gap probably. But I believe, it's rather the lack of common project. A lot of bla-bla (not said in negative way) without concrete realisation. With our friends and families, we speak but, more importantly, we share some moments, a walk, a show, a birthday's party. We are doing something and doing it we speak together. The action is more important than what we say.
However, I often felt I was expressing a lot more of myself through this platform. Because all of the time we were together was dedicated to express opinions, tastes etc. We were doing nothing other than that. Kind of weird, I would say.
There is also the fact that we are speaking to people that wouldn't be necessarily friends in our day to day lives because different reasons, interests, ages, etc. Writings on a board neutralise who we are, in a sort of way. I don't know if you had the experience to find again old friends by Facebook or something like that. We may have a real positive emotion coming from the past but if we meet, it doesn't exist all the time, because life brought each one in different ways.
I struggled a lot to understand what was missing to transform day-to-day conversations in a real friendship. And with time, I saw that I lose a lot of my time for what, maybe a chimera?
It's weird to speak of "love" and not being able to make friends with those you are speaking of it. When we think at that, it's really special.
Like shadowmaker says, I lived so much bad experiences. Probably, I lose trust. I don't know if trust can be regained. It's sad, because we're human beings not just letters on a board.
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Post by shadowmaker on May 28, 2016 8:13:03 GMT -6
Posting thoughts and discussing things here can also be a way of over thinking which is not going with the flow of the universe.
It can make you hopeful and doubtful.
Tug-of-war
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Post by shadowmaker on May 28, 2016 8:16:47 GMT -6
That said, also having some greater hope can also be discouraged by other news which would be good news, but not the kind of news that would add to the hope
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2016 8:55:00 GMT -6
Posting thoughts and discussing things here can also be a way of over thinking which is not going with the flow of the universe. It can make you hopeful and doubtful. Tug-of-war
Yes, that's totally true.
Tug-of-war seems absolutely adequate in this case. For me, in any case.
Like short circuiting the flow which is really bad for the well-being.
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Post by Deleted on May 28, 2016 9:06:46 GMT -6
That said, also having some greater hope can also be discouraged by other news which would be good news, but not the kind of news that would add to the hope Maybe in my SP experience way but surely not in my usual life.
It was all the time and is a greater vision that was nourishing the flow. As if both were closely linked. And all the small paces are part of the bigger vision and welcomed to be necessary. This way is really winner for me. All the disagreements of life being so small in the bigger plan.
Today, I see more clearly about all that. When I began on the net, for sure, I was living it in the same way than outside the web but it clearly didn't work in the same way. And soon myself didn't live it in the same way too. I didn't listen what the flow (life) said to me. And it's why I was so unhappy in that.
But, it's the past. I'm no more in that way.
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Post by shadowmaker on May 28, 2016 9:24:22 GMT -6
Things people say online should be taken with a grain of salt.
Although, with that said, there are some things people say in your face that should be taken with a grain of salt.
And yet we hear the term take it at face value.....but when someone lies, you can't take what they said at face value.
So person A. In your face can say they will do this....
But person A. didn't do that at all.
So do you trust person A.?
Sure, things happen in between, but was the thing they said they would do just a line of bullshit or did they think it was ideal at that time and decided later, no.?
Who knows. It was what it was. People are disappointing with their words.
Online or in your face.
You let it go, but don't let the lack of truth and action destroy yourself because of someone else's choice to lie
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<3 love them both for being good people!
