Mskied's thread. Come in and say hello!

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mskied...I think society has always been prone to wreckage...has it not??? I am sorry about your plight ♥ If you don't mind me asking, what problems specifically are you wanting to change in yourself and in others??? and why do you feel these changes are hard to make???

I am sure you have already touched others in some way...that is a good thing

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I have to admit, I am in a funk right now myself...should I blame the cardinal grand cross...??

www.tarot.com/astrology/cardinal-grand-cross-embracing-pain


www.chronogram.com/hudsonvalley/cardinal-grand-cross-a-matter-of-trust/Content?oid=2238916

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Ill be okay thanks Already feeling better

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Hi mskied

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Im waiting for my sweet potato to bake so I am here to waste a bit of time.

I woke up early today and noticed I felt light and not in any pain what so ever. It was really strange. When a person endures chronic pain they forget what its like not to.

I found a bookstore that has a few of Aliester Crowleys Equinox books and I was wondering if I should buy them. Ive been pretty stable as of late and am not sure I need any more ideas of fantasy to enter my mind. I am curious however. Not sure what to do...

[frosty]

hey, mskied. if you or anybody else wants to boost your self-worth, this master class will totally wake you up.

they're both really long videos, but they will change your life! even just the first few minutes is soooo great.





this girl knows her stuff. she was put on this earth to help people heal & find peace. she's a teacher, after all!

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Thanks for the videos Frosty. Im not sure what gave you the impression that I had low self esteem, but its true that I do. Something that happens when you get labeled insane is that people stop taking anything you say seriously. One either allows this to happen and gets regulated to the kids table or they fight for their understanding and sit all alone in the corner. Ive had to sacrifice an awful lot just to maintain the few friendships I have.

Im moving next week and I am excited to start over one more time. Im heading to a smaller city which should be more manageable for me to navigate both physically and socially. Hopefully I find cheaper rents too! Im hoping that I stay healthy for the duration of my life so that I can start working again. I cant really rely on this happening because every winter it seems that I go completely off my rocker. Last winter was hell and I decided if next winter this happens again I am going into a home for mentally disabled individuals.

I want to make changes in my life, I want to improve it. This illness keeps me from making ground and every time I fall it gets harder to get back up. On top of it all, half the people in my life dont even think Im that sick. On a side note I saw on yahoo news that Social security Disability insurance will end in 2016. This would put me in my grave.

[frosty]

well, i just figured you've been through a lot & that takes its toll, emotionally.

i know what you mean. i used to have to go to work when i just wanted to lie in bed (and wait for the awful feelings to go away). i had chronic depression & just needed to get away from it all long enough to get better (because i was at my breaking point) but never got a chance to do that, so i had to work on it while still going to a job every day, which makes it harder to recover from. i don't have the more severe types of illnesses that are much harder to live with, so i can only imagine how difficult it is to deal with.

hopefully they won't end SSD. who knows? if anything, they'll just cut back on it slowly over time. i have no idea. i just don't see them ending it all together. that would bring a lot of outrage from people, including family members and friends and total strangers who know how much people depend on it. it would go completely against helping your fellow man. so, it won't just be a fight from people who receive SSD. if americans can give millions every year to charities overseas, they'll easily keep giving to something that'll help others at home. i know our government keeps saying the funds just aren't there, but nobody's gonna put up with utter disregard for people who need the help.

i hope you enjoy your new city. and try your best to get well every day. treat yourself to something special as well. be your own best friend, as they say. give yourself the things you wish others would. the more you do it, the better you'll feel and the more it becomes a habit for you.

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Sorry about your depression. In my 20s I always felt that I was depressed but never really figured it was a real illness. Now I get depressed when my psychosis is silent, and it gets to be so crushing that I figure I actually know what "real" depression is as compared to what I thought it was. Some of us are just not mentally as fit as others I guess.

Thanks for the well wishing, I move in a couple days and Im pretty excited.

[frosty]

that's good. sounds like fun.

thank you, mskied. (what's your first name, by the way.) yeah, i get depressed once in a blue moon now instead of continuously, like it used to be. it's very weird because i'll be upset for a few days, then it'll go away and i'm fine, then i'm down the next day (or later that day) and have to talk myself out of it again or distract myself from it so that i can come back to it later (all the feelings or worries that are surfacing) with clearer eyes in order to get over it. trying to work through it sometimes makes it worse because then i'm depressed AND NOW drained & frustrated from trying to get better. so then i have to stop trying and just ride out the feelings for a while. i hate it, but oh well.